omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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