# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
