Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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