If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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