The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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