yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
