wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just puked most of my soul out..
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