Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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