He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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