never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
