Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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