I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
