I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
