It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
