If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
