I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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