i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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