I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i love accidental penises.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
