I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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