i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
