i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize