sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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