the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
