Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
