Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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