I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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