i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
