yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
