My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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