Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you will always have a special place in my vag
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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