we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
