I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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