come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
