Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize