i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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