He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
