I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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