her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
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I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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