We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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