yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
