I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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