he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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