so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize