His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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