my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
