Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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