brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
