I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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