Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I believe in your delicious
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The adults are the big ones right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
