dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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