have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
