of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
