A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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