We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
