i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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