i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
