you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
