Is it because I queefed?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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