it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
