I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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