you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
