the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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